ROSELLA
“One… Two… Three…” I counted in my head and waited for him to throw down the door. I heard him park his car outside, expecting him to start screaming my name very soon. With the way he banged the door so hard, I knew another soul must have pissed him off, and I would be the one to bear the brunt. It has always been this way, him taking out his anger on me.
“Five… Six… Seven…” I continued counting before waiting for him to get to the bedroom. Like most alphas, we weren’t staying in the packhouse, but this man beats me everywhere inside this house. It’s no news to the guards and mads again how I’m being treated, and I no longer feel shame when I get the opportunity to leave this room. I am the Luna that gets beaten every time, the Luna that the alpha rarely touches decently, but he has a truckload of concubines scattered all over the packhouse.
"Rosella, where are you? Where the fuck are you? Dirham said you missed your Luna lesson again this week" I heard his voice barking as he was forcefully kicking open the door to every room in the house. Told you! I wonder who pissed him off this time, and he wouldn’t take it out on the person; I would be the one to take the punishment even when I don’t know the person.
He knew where I was, but yet, he found pleasure in searching for me first then pounding on me after claiming I was hiding from him. He knew I wouldn’t dare hide from him; it only made the whole punishment worse for me. Who wouldn’t hide from such a beast?
Technically I wasn’t hiding from him; I just wanted to clean up. I tried to tell him I was in our bedroom bathroom, but I couldn't find my voice as I felt very sick and distressed. I’ve been too weak to do things myself, and the alpha denied me access to any maid; I did my stuff myself. I don’t have the strength to talk back at him, and I’m what he always calls me ‘The good for nothing weak Luna.’ I need to make an effort at least for him to know I was about to come and meet him; it could save my body from being battered again tonight, and it might not.
I managed to tie the towel around my chest in an attempt to go to him when he pushed the door open. The door hit me on the head, causing me to fall on the bathroom's wet tiles. The aching in my head increased, my stomach lurched painfully, I couldn’t get myself to stand up anymore. I shivered more in dread than with cold, wrapping my hand weakly around my body. I hated it here more than anything else.
"So, there you are, you good for nothing woman, and you allowed me to scream your name like an idiot?" He yelled, making me wince again at the loudness of the voice. This man lacked empathy, and I hated him for it. I don’t care what kind of childhood he had; no one deserved to be treated this way. He treated me like I wasn’t worth a penny, I wasn’t, but I am human. I deserve some empathy.
"I... I... I'm... not..." I stammered slowly while my hands trembled as I tried to keep them together; I didn’t want to look weak because he hated it whenever I looked frail. I prayed he didn’t hit me or do something worse. I knew I was only deceiving myself with the prayers. His boot connected with my head in a flash, and I felt like my skull would crack open. The intensity of the hit was what made me rethink if living this way was better. Maybe suicide was a better option.
"What excuse do you have this time, worthless thing?" He asked with a snicker, and I knew he could do something worse if I didn’t speak up now. This man is a beast, and everyone knows it. Before getting mated to such a man, the moon goddess probably hated me from birth.
"I'm... I'm sorry... I didn’t mean to; I was too sick to leave here.” I forced the words out of my quivering lips, and I hoped he believed them this time. He rarely thought of me as his Luna, and listening to me is like a premium feature, once in a blue moon. I watched him clench and unclench his fingers in anger, and I sighed. I knew what was coming next. He would start to hit me very soon. It’s like a repetitive circle, and I already knew what would end it—me ending the day with bruises and weak bones.
"You're sick and couldn't tell me, so people will think I'm maltreating you, right? You didn't tell me about your sickness, so when you die, they'll say I killed you?" He growled into my face, terrifyingly. The irony of how he was scared to kill me, but he didn’t care about hitting me till I could no longer take it. This man was a funny psychopath.
"No. I'm... I'm sorry, my... my Alpha." I apologized, hoping he would forgive me this time, we both knew that wouldn’t happen, but a girl is allowed to dream. He took another look at me, and I looked at my hands as if it was suddenly the most exciting thing in the world. I mentally prepared myself for him hitting me or anything going wrong. I started another countdown until his hands connected to my throat before the usual beating.
"What if you're pregnant? Yes, you could be pregnant." He said in excitement, and I could see the happy glint in his eyes; I wished I wasn’t because he was obsessed with me winding up pregnant, and I didn’t want that. He hurled me from the ground with one hand. "Behave like a Luna that you are; you don't know how to behave like a Luna! Maybe when you finally stop missing Luna lessons with Dirham, then you would know how a Luna should act." He hissed as he dragged me out of the bathroom to the bedroom. If Dirham was a nice person, maybe I wouldn’t be missing the Luna Lessons almost every time; just like James, Dirham was vile. She could easily pass for a devil’s incarnate.
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t pregnant, but he didn’t even give me the chance to explain myself and how exactly I was feeling, and I was too terrified to speak, or he might hit me again, adding more agony to my body. I didn’t want that, considering I narrowly escaped from a beating. Maybe the doctor would provide a better solution for us.
On our way to the bedroom, my towel loosened due to the way he was dragging me. He, however, pushed me to the bed without taking a second glance at my body, went to the wardrobe, and brought a dress he bought for me during his birthday dinner, I have no idea why he loves extravagant things, but I, for one, I’m not a fan of it. I wouldn’t say I like unnecessary things, and I love minimalist things. Simple things blow my mind rather than extravagant things.
"Put it on." He instructed, throwing it at my face. It was a royal blue dress, and it looked like I was going for a ball rather than a hospital checkup. I wouldn’t say I liked dresses like this, but they seemed to be his weakness. On rare occasions when I make him happy, he pays Dirham to go shopping for dresses like this for me.
I managed to stand up and wore the cloth for him. I turned to the standing mirror in our room to look at myself, but I couldn't recognize the person I was seeing. I became less than a shadow of myself with heavy black bags under my eyes and how skinny I had become in less than two years. He said he hated fleshy females; he wanted his wife to have the body of a model, so he made me eat broccoli and other tasteless vegetables only once a day, checking how much weight I had lost at the end each day.
"Are you deliberately waiting for me to remind you to wear your makeup?" He screamed, slicing through my chain of thoughts. He hated it when he reminded me to do simple things a Luna should know; maybe I needed to stop skipping the Luna lessons. It’s been a year inside this hell, and no help was forthcoming.
I almost convulsed at the sound of his voice. I rushed to the dressing table and wore my makeup as he liked it with trembling hands; the only thing I learned from Dirham successfully. When I finished, he brought out a vanilla cologne and made me wear it. I couldn’t choose, I wouldn’t want something for myself, I always did whatever he wanted. I don’t have enough balls to tell him that I think the
"These heels will match." He said he loved seeing me wear the shoes as he handed me the shoes. It's a pair of glassy silver shoes that made my legs sore whenever I wore them. He said it made me look like Cinderella. He sure had a thing for fairytales despite his messed-up head. I wasn’t good with heels at all, and these particular ones were too tight for my feet. Yet how could I complain when that would most likely earn me a punch in my face or stomach?
I wore them, and he looked at me in contempt. He had always been this way, wanting me to look like I had the world at my beck and call whenever we were outside. I made sure to raise my shoulders and hold up my head, the way Dirham always told me to do.
"Now, let's go." He ordered, and like a child, I followed him without complaining. "Is that how you walk? Is that how Lunas walk?" He snapped at me, looking down on me like a worthless piece of shit.
"No, my Alpha," I replied, bowing humbly. We are going out; I better get my pretending mask back on. Act like the luckiest girl alive with the most caring mate. He would tell me about different girls in the pack who would kill to be me. Honestly, I don’t mind. They should come and replace me.
"We're going out, don't call me your Alpha; call me my love, baby, sweetheart, and all the sweet monikers you can remember; I don't have to remind you of these things." He growled, and I nodded. His stares stopped me from moving further, and I realized I had to answer with my mouth, not my head.
"Yes, my... my love." I stammered, and he continued walking forward before stopping abruptly as if he remembered something. He turned back to look at me before talking.
"Better don't go out there and start stuttering like a pigeon." He said, and I nodded.
Soon we were on our way to the hospital. We were both seated at the back seat of his limo while his driver drove.
When we arrived at the hospital, the doctor carried out some tests on me, and before long, the results were ready. I was visibly shaking, hoping I'd be pregnant so I’d be free from his torture and abuse.
We were at the pack doctor's office waiting for him when he arrived with an envelope, probably containing the results of my fate.
"I'm sorry, Alpha James, your wife is not pregnant." He said in a voice laden with regret.
Immediately my mate turned to me and gave me a stern look. "Why then did you lie to me that you were pregnant?" He asked, and I bowed my head. My heart was racing, and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me here. At least, he wouldn’t try to do so in public, but I was dead meat when we got back home.
"Thank you, doctor." He said, and they exchanged handshakes.
"Thank you, doctor," I echoed and followed my mate out.
Our drive home was eerily quiet and uncomfortable. When I soon reached our building and walked straight to the bedroom, I sat down on the bed, breathing hard from exhaustion.
"You're not even fertile. One whole year, one bloody good year, in fact, almost two years, and you're still not doing anything about your infertility. I blame myself for accepting garbage like you from your useless pauper father and his good-for-nothing wife." He spat on my face before he looked at me as if he would love to do something worse to me. He changed his mind, and He walked out of the room instead.
I didn't blame him for insulting my father; my father gave me to him without thinking about how I felt and what will become of me. They had no idea the hell I was enduring here, neither did they care.
My mom died when I was 12, and in the space of one year and six months, my dad remarried a wicked witch who made my life unbearable. I always wanted to escape the house, but I had no means.
I didn’t know how my dad was indebted to the late Alpha, who was patient enough not to ask. Sadly, when his son took over, he threatened my dad with death if he didn't pay.
My dad and his wife agreed to use me as a means of paying their debt. I wasn’t doing anything useful at home, so it felt like a perfect opportunity to get rid of myself. The new Alpha hadn't met his fated mate yet, or at least, that’s what the alpha told us, and he declared, much to my horror, that I looked like a female he'd like to make his Luna even though he knew I was human without a wolf. My parents were more than happy to sell me off despite how much I begged and pleaded with them.
I was still lost in thought when a sharp pain shot through my heart; it felt like an arrow piercing through me.
Alpha James Rush was having sexual intercourse with another woman. After marking me and mating me, we automatically became mates, and I could feel such agonies whenever he was having sex with other females.
This wasn’t the first time he was cheating on me. I was supposed to have gotten used to it by now, but how can a living creature get used to such torture? He knew I would be hurting; he knew but had never cared to give a fuck how I felt.
I squeezed myself on the bed, clutching my chest the way I usually did whenever he was doing it. I was already expecting it because I wasn't pregnant. Hot tears rolled down my eyes as choking sobs escaped my throat. I was finding it hard to breathe or move. This was anguish added to the torture.
The pains continued for about fifteen minutes and stopped. It soon started again. It went on and on and on until I was too weak to cry. I was supposed to have gotten used to it, but I can’t bring myself to be used to it.
I felt my head aching so badly, my heart throbbing in my chest; I felt dizzy this time; it was different. I felt my whole world crumbling before me in many pieces and realized I couldn’t take this anymore, I had to leave, or I’d die in this hell.
I crawled out of bed slowly, mustering all the strength left in me; I didn’t have a wolf-like werewolf, so in moments like this, I had no one to give me strength; I was a weak, miserable human-like the alpha always called me.
Having successfully crawled out of bed, I went to my wardrobe to pack some clothes but thought better of it. Carrying loads would slow me down, and all of the clothes currently in the closet were all bought for me by the Alpha. He burned all the clothes I brought from my father’s house, saying they were rags and none suited his taste.
I slowly peeled off the dress he picked out earlier from my body and slipped into something more straightforward, something I could run and escape in. An oversized black hoodie, black joggers with a pair of black sneakers I had hidden in a secluded part of my wardrobe a few months back because somehow, I knew this day would come.
The day when I would grow the nerve to once in my life and make my own decision for myself, and that day is today.