EMMY
I've been attending Miltan University for about two months. I've moved into a small room in one of the student dorms, which I share with another student. I wouldn't say June and I are really friends, but we get along well, and I'm perfectly happy with that.
Unlike me, June would rather do nothing but go from one party to the next. That cliché of the nonstop partying roommate who drags the other along—well, what can I say—that's not us.
I wouldn't mind doing more and going to a student party or two. To make matters worse, June is probably the biggest fan of the ice hockey team and, accordingly, always tries to go wherever the players hang out.
That's it for me. It's bad enough that I have to hear about Asher far too often, but I certainly don't need to go to the same parties as him.
I intentionally kept it a secret from June that Asher and I went to the same high school and that our parents are old friends. She'd probably dance around our tiny room, enthusiastically urging me to tell her about him. That would be the last thing I need.
Over the years, I've certainly learned a lot about him, but I don't really know him. I only know how he presents himself to the outside world, what he really thinks, and how he's with his close friends—I have no idea about that.
My plan to avoid him is actually going extremely well. I've seen him a few times from a distance, but that's it. As far as I'm concerned, I'd like to keep it that way.
I've resolved to end this crush, even if I'm not there yet, I'll make it happen. After all, I've already been on two dates. That's a hell of a lot for me in just two months. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that it would never amount to anything, which meant it was over. Still, every beginning is good, right?
I wanted to be more open, and I think I've been doing pretty well so far. Sure, I could do more and spend less time stuck in this tiny room, but it's already so much more than before.
Since I have another lecture soon, I gather my things and hurry out of the building. Luckily, my dorm is conveniently located, so I can do almost everything on foot. I don't have a car, so I'm pretty limited.
Today's weather is telling us that autumn is just around the corner. The wind is blowing my brown hair into my face. After several failed attempts to stop it from constantly blocking my view, I give up.
Annoyed, I rummage through my bag for a hair tie, promptly bumping into another person. "I'm... sorry," I say confusedly.
If I've already had a bit of a shock from the collision, the next moment I'll be given a half-heart attack.
„You, Emmy."
With my mouth open, I look up and see Asher's bright brown eyes grinning at me.
Too surprised that he's standing in front of me, I can't say a word.
A confused expression creeps across Asher's face, but he says quite normally: "How are you? My mom told me you're studying here too."
The thought that he talked to his mother about me immediately confuses me even more. I swallow deeply and try to pull myself together.
With a nervous tone in my voice, I answer, "Yes, since this semester."
I'd rather not tell him that I steer clear of anything that has to do with him.
"Hey Asher, step on the gas a bit and stop flirting so much, or you'll get another kick in the ass from the coach."
I turn around and see two other guys from the team standing there, grinning. Only then do I notice that Asher is carrying a duffel bag over his shoulder. He must be coming from somewhere else today, because as far as I know, he's staying with a few other guys from his team in a house near the ice rink, which is about a mile away. I was glad the dorm I got a spot in was located so he wouldn't have to pass by it—at least, I thought so.
"See you, Emmy," he says, putting his hand on my shoulder as he passes before hurrying over to his friends.
I take another deep breath to calm my racing heart. Once again, Asher has managed to completely shake me up, and on top of that, I've been acting completely stupid. He probably thinks I'm socially incompetent now—if he hasn't already.
On top of that, I can still feel the tingling from his touch on my shoulder that just won't go away.
***
The lecture passes me by as if I were seeing it through a fog. The professor's voice is only a distant murmur in my ears, while my thoughts still revolve around the encounter with Asher.
These days, I'm more annoyed with myself. How is it possible that he still manages to throw me off track like this? This chapter should be closed.
Maybe I haven't done enough myself. Even though I've improved, I still spend far too much time alone in my room.
Without further ado, I decide to ask Isla if we can go out tonight.
Isla and I met during orientation week and became friends immediately. She, like me, isn't usually very into going out. We much prefer to hole up in one of our rooms. So Isla's response isn't surprising.
Same
Let's watch a movie instead.
I sigh in resignation. I'm sure if I told her this was important to me, she'd go out with me without hesitation. But what good would that do? She'd just torture herself, and I'd feel guilty. Hardly a good combination for a successful evening.
***
When I enter my room a little later, the next surprise of the day awaits me.
There, I find June wildly making out on her bed with some tall, brown-haired guy. I'm just glad they're at least still fully clothed.
A startled sound escapes me and the two of them jump up.
"I'm... I'm... sorry," I stammer.
I don't even know what I'm apologizing for. After all, this is my room, and they didn't even bother to lock it.
I should probably start getting used to it. After two months of sharing a room with June, this is far from the first incident of this kind.
Apparently, though, I'm the only one who finds the situation super uncomfortable. Neither June nor he seem particularly impressed by my presence. If anything, they find it annoying that I disturbed them.
"Hey Emmy," June says to me with a grin and a wave. "This is Seth. He's from the hockey team."
I roll my eyes inwardly at this emphasis. I wonder how many members of Team June have been with. When the thought crosses my mind whether Asher was there, I swallow hard. I really hope not.
My gaze wanders to Seth, and when I see his face properly for the first time, my heart skips a beat. He's one of the guys from this morning who were on their way to practice with Asher.
A look of recognition also appears in his eyes, and the next moment his grin widens. "You're the one with A—"
"I'm already gone," I interrupt frantically, unable to get out the door fast enough.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and reply to Isla. Netflix is probably on the agenda for today after all. But anything's better than staying in the room for another second.
***
At Isla's, we've made ourselves comfortable on her loft bed, and her laptop is on the mattress in front of us. We're scrolling through the movie selection, or rather, only Isla is doing it, because my thoughts are once again on Asher.
"Emmy... Hey Emmy," her voice slowly reaches me as she waves her hand in front of my face.
I flinch and look at her in shock.
She laughs quietly to herself and says, "I'm sorry. But I asked you something several times and you didn't respond."
Embarrassed, I look down at my hands. I didn't hear anything she said.
Her gaze changes, revealing a worried expression. "Is everything okay? Even when you came in earlier, I had the feeling something was bothering you."
Isla doesn't know about Asher or that we know each other. I never told her. It shouldn't even matter anymore.
Now, however, I feel like that's not possible and I need someone to talk to about it. I trust Isla, but I'm still hesitant. I'm uncomfortable admitting that I've had a crush on someone for years who was never interested in me. Plus, it means admitting out loud that my resolution to end it all with college has failed.
Which he absolutely is.
I sigh resignedly. "You know who Asher Brigham is, right?"
Isla looks at me in surprise. It's clear from her face that she has no idea what I'm getting at.
“The ice hockey player?” she asks me, to which I nod.
"Uh, yeah. Everyone here probably knows that. But what about him?" she answers, confused.
"We went to high school together and our parents are close friends."
Isla's eyes widen in surprise. "And you're only telling me this now?"
I shrug my shoulders.
"Wait," Isla interrupts, "did you have a thing with him in high school?"
"No, I didn't."
Isla gives me a quick, sideways look, then a knowing expression appears on her face. "But you like him. Right?"
Unhappily, I reply: "For ages, yes."
"Does he know about this?"
"God, no. That would be so incredibly embarrassing. He didn't pay any attention to me at school, and when we did see each other because of our parents, he was always with my sister. You know how she can be."
Isla snorts but doesn't comment.
Gianna visited me once for a weekend and met Isla and June there. While she got along well with June—not surprisingly—Isla couldn't stand her at all. Isla thinks Gianna doesn't treat me well. I know she can come across as a bit assertive at times, and she likes to be the center of attention, but Isla doesn't really know her. Gianna is my sister, and she would never try to keep me down, as she put it.
But since Isla probably doesn't feel like discussing Gianna right now, she asks instead, "Is that why you went to Miltan? Because he's here?"
I shake my head vehemently and tell her that this was exactly what I didn't want, but that I couldn't refuse because of the scholarship. I also tell her about my plan to finally put Asher out of the picture, and about the meeting this morning and the moment with Seth.
She stares at me, mouth open. "Well, first of all, it's high time you set some rules with June, and second of all, get off the bed. We're both going out now."
"But you didn't want to," I interject.
"Sometimes I just need a little push. We'll both find you a new Asher."