I opened my eyes slowly, staring up at the white ceiling of my hostel room as morning light filtered through the thin, faded curtains. My whole body felt heavy, aching with a strange, deep soreness and the distinct, residual scent of a dominant rogue wolf clinging stubbornly to my skin. The faint aroma of dark timber and rain drifted up from the bedsheets, thick enough to make my inner wolf pace frantically beneath my ribs in total, disoriented confusion.
For several long minutes, I just lay there in silence, staring at the cracks in the ceiling and waiting for my head to clear.
The memory of yesterday hit me like a physical slap to the face. Catching Asher in his dormitory room with Rosalie. Her dark, curled hair spilled over his shoulders, his fangs grazing the sensitive skin of her collarbone, and the cold, practical way he looked me in the eye and told me my bloodline simply wasn't strong enough for a future Beta of the pack. That part was undeniable reality. The agonizing, hollow ache in the center of my chest proved it, sharp and raw as a fresh wound.
But then my mind drifted to what happened after, the abandoned laundry annex near the pack territory border, the tall guy with silver eyes who walked in out of nowhere, the fierce, consuming heat against the cold wooden wall, and the effortless way he had lifted my entire weight like I meant nothing at all.
I shook my head violently, pressing my palms over my eyes as a sudden, sickening wave of intense shame washed through my chest.
It had to be a dream. It simply had to be a wild, stress-induced hallucination my fracturing brain had manufactured just to cope with getting my heart shattered into a million pieces. There was no earthly way I had actually given myself, my body, my wolf and my pride to a complete stranger named Drake right on the spot. There was no way I had allowed a rogue I knew nothing about to press me against a wall, take me so completely that I fainted in his arms, and then carry me all the way back to my room in the dead of night.
A tight, painful knot of self-loathing twisted deep in my gut, making me feel physically sick. How could I have been so foolish? How could I let my guard down so completely and give away something so sacred to a man whose last name I didn't even know, only hours after being discarded by the person I trusted for two years? I hated myself for being so utterly weak. I hated that the pain of Asher’s betrayal had apparently driven me into a complete mental breakdown where I imagined surrendering everything to a dangerous, silver-eyed shadow.
Determined to shake off the lingering phantom sensations, I forced myself out of bed. My legs felt slightly unsteady as my feet hit the cold floorboards. I walked straight into the bathroom, turned the shower knob all the way to hot, and scrubbed my skin until it was bright red, desperate to wash away the memory of that rich timber scent. I pulled on a simple oversized hoodie, a pair of dark jeans, and tied my hair back into a loose knot. I needed to focus on reality, no matter how much I despised the pathetic weakness I thought I had displayed in my own mind.
The walk across campus to the pack dining hall felt like navigating through a dense fog. My stomach was tied up in complicated knots, every corner I turned filling me with the dread that I might run into Asher or Rosalie strutting through the quad, boasting about their new official pairing to the rest of the council. The morning air was crisp, filled with the bustling chatter of students talking about the weekend shift matches, but I kept my head down, staring strictly at the pavement.
When I finally pushed open the heavy wooden doors of the dining hall, the noise of clattering trays and loud laughter washed over me. Luckily, I spotted a familiar head of curly blonde hair sitting alone in a booth near the back corner of the room, tucked away from the main crowd.
"Vanessa," I called out softly, my voice barely carrying over the room's noise as I slid into the vinyl booth across from her.
Vanessa looked up from her phone instantly, her eyes widening the second her sharp wolf senses picked up on the sheer emotional distress radiating from my skin. "Nadra! Where on earth were you yesterday after the shift matches ended? I searched the entire stadium and the hostels looking for you."
I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, taking a shaky breath to steady my vocal cords before looking back at her. "I went up to Asher's room before the matches even started. I wanted to surprise him with some hot soup because he texted me all morning claiming he was too sick to get out of bed."
Vanessa leaned forward over the table, her easygoing smile instantly vanishing as her inner wolf picked up on the sour note in my tone. "What happened, Nadra?"
"I caught him with Rosalie," I said, the words tasting like ash on my tongue. "They were together, Vanessa. Right there in his room. Her sweet perfume was all over him, and he had his hands around her waist. And when I confronted him about it, he didn't even have the decency to apologize or pretend he felt guilty. He looked me in the eye and told me he was just using me for the past two years until he could officially pair with Rosalie because of her pure Alpha family line."
"That absolute garbage excuse for a wolf," Vanessa gasped, her knuckles turning bone-white around her coffee cup as her eyes flashed a dangerous, fiery amber. "I always knew he was arrogant, but to sit there and use your family lineage against you after everything you’ve done for him? I am going to tear his throat out in front of the entire pack council."
"It gets so much worse," I muttered, rubbing my temples as an unbearable weight of guilt pressed down on my chest. "After I ran away from his dorm, I went all the way out to the old laundry building by the border to hide and cry. And... I think I had the craziest, most humiliating stress-dream of my entire life. My brain completely made up this guy to come in and rescue me, and I can't even fathom what I did in that hallucination."
Vanessa blinked, tilting her head in complete confusion. "A stress-dream?"
"Yeah," I whispered, a burning blush of intense embarrassment creeping up my neck and heating my cheeks. "I must have fallen asleep on the floor of the annex, and I dreamed this tall, dangerous-looking guy with silver eyes walked right through the door. He had short dark hair, wore a leather jacket, and possessed this heavy, suffocating Alpha aura that made my whole body freeze. He told me Asher was an idiot, and then... well, I gave myself to him right there against the wall, Vanessa. I gave a total stranger everything without even thinking twice. I woke up this morning hating myself so much for being weak enough to imagine doing something that reckless."
Vanessa paused, her cup frozen halfway to her mouth. She didn't laugh, and she didn't tease me like I desperately hoped she would. Instead, her eyes slowly drifted past my head, looking over my shoulder to lock onto something near the main entrance of the cafeteria. The color drained from her face, her expression shifting from fierce sympathy to absolute, paralyzed shock.
"Vanessa?" I asked, frowning as my own inner wolf suddenly bristled, the fine hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up in instinctual alarm. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nadra..." Vanessa whispered, her voice dropping to a barely audible tremble, her inner wolf backing down into immediate submission as she looked away from me and gestured weakly toward the double doors. "Isn't that... isn't that the guy from your dream?"
My heart stopped beating in my chest.
I turned around slowly in the booth, my eyes scanning past the crowded tables of eating students until they landed on a tall, broad-shouldered figure standing right near the entrance.
He was wearing the exact same dark leather jacket over a simple grey shirt. Short dark hair, a sharp, carved jawline, and those striking, unmistakable silver eyes that were currently sweeping slowly across the room, until they locked directly onto mine.
At that exact moment, the heavy, dominant scent of dark timber and rain flooded through the cafeteria, completely overpowering the smell of food and instantly hushing the nearby tables. A slow, subtle smile touched the corner of his lips the very second our gazes met across the room.
My breath caught painfully in my throat, a sudden wave of fierce heat rushing through my entire body as absolute horror crashed over me.
It wasn't a dream. I had actually done it.