Daciana
It’s raining outside. I hate the rain.
I stand at the window, arms wrapped tight around my stomach, watching the drops streak down the glass like tears. Each one feels like it’s pulling something out of me, some piece of myself I can’t afford to lose.
“Is something bothering you?”
Kieran’s voice cuts through my spiral, and I stiffen. “No.”
“You’ve been standing there for some time now.”
I press my lips together. “I just don’t like it when it rains.”
“May I ask why?”
The question is careful, measured, but it cracks something open inside me. “I just feel unbearably sad.”
The words escape before I can stop them, raw and honest in a way I never intended. I inhale sharply. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I clear my throat hard, forcing the vulnerability back down where it belongs.
I turn to face him, needing a distraction. He’s sitting on the edge of my bed, shirtless, the bandage around his torso stark white against his tanned skin. “Why is your arrow wound healing so slowly?”
His jaw tightens. “The poison. It’s mostly neutralized, but it continues to affect my healing.”
“How long until—”
“I’ll leave tonight,” he says, his intense eyes holding mine. “Under cover of darkness.”
“Good.” The word comes out sharper than I mean it to, but I don’t take it back.
He looks around my small room now, and I can practically feel him cataloging every detail. The sparse furniture. The lack of personal touches. The emptiness of it all.
“Is your family in the capital?”
The question hits me like a slap. My eyes narrow. “Why are you asking?”
Kieran meets my gaze steadily. “I find myself curious about you.”
“My parents are back at my pack. I don’t see them.”
“Why not?”
I turn to the window again, focusing on the rain instead of the man behind me. This is the first time since I came to the palace that I’ve let myself think about them. The first time I’ve allowed their faces to surface in my mind. I don’t want to answer. I should tell this man to mind his own business, to stop asking questions that cut too deep.
But after a moment, the answer slips out anyway.
“Because they were willing to sacrifice me.”
My lips twist bitterly, but Kieran can’t see my face. I can’t see his, either, but his expression must have changed; I can feel the weight of his frown even with my back turned.
“I don’t understand.”
I shouldn’t tell him. I shouldn’t tell this alpha anything about my life, my pain, my complete and utter destruction at the hands of people who were supposed to love me. But maybe that’s exactly why the words start to spill out of me.
“When Astra escaped the pack, Selene and I helped her.” The memory burns. “My uncle was furious. He agreed with our alpha to put the blame on me, and my parents—” My voice cracks, and I hate myself for it. “My parents agreed. I haven’t seen them since.”
The silence stretches between us, heavy with things unsaid.
“Do you miss them?”
The question is so soft, so unexpectedly gentle, that I want to scream. “You ask a lot of questions about things that have nothing to do with you.”
Something flickers in the air between us—regret, maybe. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I need to move. Need to do something other than stand here and let him see too much. “I’ll get you some food. And tonight, you leave. You’ve been here for two days already.”
As I walk past him, trying to ignore how close we are in this tiny room, his voice stops me. “Have you told the Queen about the attack on us?”
I hesitate, my hand on the doorknob. “No.”
When I glance back, I catch the relief that flashes across his face. It’s there and gone in an instant, but I see it. And it makes everything more complicated. He asked me not to tell anyone, didn’t want to face the political ramifications if word got out that he’d been injured, that he’d been vulnerable. I agreed in the moment, but now…
“I should go,” I mutter, but I don’t move. Can’t move. Something holds me here, rooted to the spot.
Finally, I manage to flee into the hallway, my heart hammering against my ribs. Why haven’t I told Astra? She’s my friend. My queen. Even if Kieran did ask me to keep quiet, I should have told her. Should have let her know that an alpha was wounded in her territory, that something happened that could affect the fragile peace between our packs.
But instead, I’ve hidden him in my room. Tended his wounds. Let him ask me questions I’ve never answered for anyone.
The rain pounds harder against the roof, each drop a reminder of all the things I’m trying not to feel. All the things I’m failing not to feel.
I lean against the wall, pressing my palms flat against the cool stone.
What am I doing?
And more terrifying still: Why can’t I make myself stop?
I HAVEN’T SEEN Kieran since he left my room three nights ago. I thought that would be the end of it.
Instead, the nightmares are getting worse.
They’ve plagued me for months, ever since I helped Astra escape. But lately, they’ve intensified. New images bleed into the old ones. Recent blood mixing with ancient guilt.
I wake up gasping, sheets twisted around my legs, heart racing like I’ve run for miles. Every single night. Sometimes twice.
By the time my shift with Astra ends and another guard takes over, I’m practically swaying on my feet. I need sleep. Real sleep. Not the fractured, terror-filled hours I’ve been having.
That’s why I find myself heading toward the healers’ compound instead of my room.
The compound is massive—a sprawling collection of buildings where the sick and injured are tended to. I stop one of the younger healers hurrying past, her arms full of bandages.
“Where’s Selene?”
“Treatment wing, I think.”
I weave through the corridors, past rooms where healers work and patients rest, until I find her. She is bent over a table, grinding herbs with another healer, discussing dosages in that precise way of hers.
When she looks up and sees me, her face goes pale. “Daciana.” She straightens immediately, concern flooding her features. “What’s wrong? You look like death warmed over.”
There’s a glow to Selene that wasn’t there before. Being mated suits her. She looks happier, softer somehow. It makes the exhaustion weighing on me feel even heavier in comparison.
The other healer glances between us, then quietly excuses herself.
“I’m having trouble sleeping,” I admit, sounding as rough as I feel.
“Trouble sleeping or not sleeping at all?” She crosses to me, professional now, her eyes scanning my face. “How long has this been going on?”
I press my lips together. “I’m having constant nightmares.”
Her brows draw together. “Nightmares? What kind of—”
“Does it matter?” The snap in my voice surprises us both. I soften my tone. “I just need something to help me sleep through the night. Something strong.”
She studies me for a long moment, and I can see her piecing things together—the shadows under my eyes, the tremor in my hands, the hollowness that has settled into my bones.
Finally, she nods. “Alright. Wait here.”
She disappears into the storage room and returns with a small pouch of dried herbs, which she presses into my palm. “Make tea with this before you go to bed. It’ll knock you out for at least six hours. No dreams, no waking.” Her grip tightens on my wrist. “But Daciana, this isn’t a permanent solution. Whatever’s causing these nightmares, you need to deal with it. You can’t just drug yourself to sleep every night.”
“I know.” I pocket the herbs quickly. “Thank you.”
I turn to leave, but she stops me. “Daciana, if you need to talk—”
“I’m fine.” The lie tastes bitter. “Really. Thank you, Selene.”
I leave before she can push any further, before she can see how close I am to breaking.
I’m so tired, but my day isn’t over yet. I still have one more thing to do.
The forest is quiet when I reach the site of the attack. I’ve been meaning to investigate properly, but between my duties and the nightmares eating away at my consciousness, I haven’t had the chance. Now, in the pale afternoon light, I summon three of the wild wolves. They materialize from the shadows, eyes bright and intelligent.
“Search,” I murmur. “Find anything that doesn’t belong.”
They spread out, noses to the ground, and I start my own sweep of the area. The rain has washed away most traces, but not everything. There—a boot print in the mud beneath an overhanging rock. Deep treads. Heavy. And there, fifteen feet away, another. Different pattern. Smaller.
My stomach drops.
Two shooters. This wasn’t random. It was coordinated.
“What are you doing?”
I spin, one hand going to my blade. Seth stands at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed, expression unreadable.
“Commander.” I straighten. “I was just—”
His eyes drop to my other hand. To the broken arrow shaft I picked up moments ago.
Shit. At least the wolves are out of sight, hidden by the trees.
“What’s going on, Daciana?”
I could lie. Should lie. But Seth isn’t stupid, and the evidence is literally in my hands. “There was an incident. A few days ago.”
“What kind of incident?”
“Alpha Kieran was attacked. I was with him when it happened.”
“You were with him?” His voice drops dangerously low. “Alpha Kieran was attacked, and you didn’t report it to me?”
“He asked me not to tell anyone. Said it could cause political problems if word got out that—”
“I don’t give a damn what he asked!” Seth shouts. “An alpha was attacked on our lands. That’s a massive diplomatic incident, Daciana. I should have been informed immediately. And you were there? You witnessed it?”
Heat floods my face. “Yes.”
“Do you understand what you’ve done?” He steps closer. I’ve never seen him this angry. “You kept this from your commander. You chose to protect him over your duty. Over protocol.”
The words have me staggering. He’s right. Gods, he’s right, and I have no excuse.
“That’s insubordination,” he says flatly. “That’s a complete betrayal of trust. You’re being reassigned. You’ll keep your position as the Queen’s guard, but you’re also taking night rounds. Every night. Until I decide you’ve learned what loyalty means.”
“Commander—”
“Dismissed.”
THE FIRST NIGHT of rounds isn’t terrible.
The second is harder.
By the third, exhaustion is a living thing inside me, clawing at my bones.
Seth has me scheduled every single night. I walk the perimeter from midnight to dawn, then report for my regular duties with the Queen at seven in the morning. I’m getting maybe three hours of sleep total, if I’m lucky. And even that precious time is plagued with nightmares that jerk me awake, gasping desperately.
The herbs Selene gave me sit unused in my pocket. They would knock me out for six hours, but I only have three. I can’t risk oversleeping and missing my duties. Can’t risk Seth having one more reason to question my loyalty.
So, I don’t take them. And I don’t sleep.
A week in, I’m barely functional.
My hands shake when I grip my sword. My reflexes are half a second too slow. The world has taken on a hazy, dreamlike quality that makes me question what’s real.
“You look like death,” one of the other guards says during a shift change.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“Seth’s being too hard on you. The overnight shift is brutal.”
Maybe. But I deserve it. I lied to my commander. I chose an alpha with dark eyes and a wounded shoulder over my duty.
Even Astra worries. “I’ll talk to him,” she says angrily, but I shake my head.
“I asked for the night duties.”
She doesn’t seem to believe me but drops the subject. She’s got enough on her plate with the child in her womb. Three months to go, and she’s already ready to get the baby out of her.
The days blur together. Guard duty with Astra, where I force myself to stay alert despite the exhaustion making my bones ache. Night rounds in the cold darkness, jumping at every shadow. The brief moments in my room where I collapse onto my bed, only to wake minutes later choking on nightmares.
By the eighth night, I’m running on fumes and desperation. When I first see the movement, I don’t pay attention to it. But then I hear the sound of rustling in the trees at the edge of the forest.
I really just want to let it go. To finish my patrol and collapse into bed for those precious few hours. But duty—that thing I apparently forgot about when Kieran was bleeding in my room—drives me toward the woods.
The figure moves fast, weaving through the forest with purpose. I track it for maybe ten minutes before it disappears into a thicket.
I slow down, every sense on alert. Something’s wrong. The air feels—
The attack comes from my left.
A massive wolf, easily twice the size of any normal pack wolf, crashes into me. I go down hard, my sword flying from my grip. Teeth snap inches from my throat. I twist, bring my leg up, and slam my boot into its ribs.
It barely flinches.
Claws rake across my shoulder, tearing through leather and skin. White-hot pain explodes through my body. I scream and roll away, but the wolf is faster. It pins me, weight crushing my chest, jaws opening wide—
Three wild wolves hit it from the side.
They came. My wolves. They tear into the attacker with vicious efficiency, giving me just enough time to crawl backward, gasping for air. Blood pours down my arm. My vision swims.
The attacking wolf fights like something possessed, throwing off my wolves one by one. It turns back to me, eyes gleaming with an intelligence that makes my skin crawl.
This isn’t a wild wolf. This is a shifter.
It lunges.
I close my eyes.
Impact never comes.
When I open my eyes again, the forest is empty. I can hear the sounds of wolves howling and flesh tearing. Two wild wolves stand guard around me, whining softly. The attacker is gone, and I’m bleeding out into the leaves.
“Help,” I whisper, but there’s no one to hear.
The world tilts sideways. The last thing I see before darkness swallows me is the moon through the canopy, bright and indifferent.
Then, nothing.
PAIN DRAGS me back to the world.
Not a sharp, bright pain. Dull. Distant. Like my body is wrapped in layers of wool, muffling everything.
I crack my eyes open.
White ceiling. Herb-scented air. The familiar sounds of the healer’s compound.
No.
No, I was supposed to—
A slight motion catches my eye, and I turn my head.
Kieran.
He’s sitting in a chair beside my bed, arms crossed over his chest, head resting back against the wall. Asleep. Dark circles shadow his eyes, and there’s stubble along his jaw, which I’ve never seen on him before.
My throat tightens. Why is he here?
“Did you…” My voice comes out raspy. “Did you save me?”
His eyes snap open immediately, and the intensity in them steals what little breath I have left.
“You’re awake.” He leans forward, relief washing over his face. “Thank the gods.”
I close my eyes again. Can’t look at him. Can’t deal with whatever this is.
“Daciana.”
“I’m tired.”
“I know.” His voice is gentle. Too gentle. “What happened?”
“I was attacked.” The words come out flat. Emotionless.
“By whom?”
“A wolf. Shifter, I think. Too big to be wild.”
Silence. Then: “How did you end up in that position? You’re one of the best soldiers here.”
My jaw tightens. “I was tired. Caught off guard.”
“Tired?”
“Yes.”
“When do you sleep, Daciana?”
“When I’m not working.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I open my eyes, meeting his gaze. “It’s not your business.”
His expression hardens. “You almost died. That makes it my business.”
“No, it doesn’t.” My hands fist in the sheets, and I can feel them trembling. Exhaustion. Always exhaustion. “I was punished for not telling my commander about the attack on you. That’s why I was given additional duties. Night rounds. Every night. Indefinitely.”
His jaw clenches. “Indefinitely? For how long have you been doing this?”
“Eight days.”
“Eight days of night patrol on top of your regular guard duties?” His voice drops dangerously low. “With no end in sight? That’s—”
“My punishment.” I close my eyes briefly. “I deserved it. I should have reported the incident immediately.”
“You were protecting me.”
“I was being insubordinate.” The word tastes sour on my tongue. “Seth was right to discipline me.”
Silence stretches between us, heavy with things unsaid.
“I’ll be fine,” I add. “Once I rest a bit, I’ll be back to my duties.”
“If one of your wolves hadn’t come to get me,” he says quietly, “I wouldn’t have known you were dying out there.”
My eyes snap open, meeting his, as the rest of my body goes rigid. “What wolves?”
He smiles now, just a slight curve of his lips. “I already know of your gift, little wolf. I will not tell anyone, so you don’t have to lie to me.”
My heart hammers against my ribs. He knows. He knows! How long has he known? Since that day in the forest when—
Before I can process this, the door opens.
Selene steps inside, and the moment she sees me awake, her face crumples. “Daciana!” She’s at my bedside in an instant, and I can see the tears she’s trying to hold back. “I’m so happy to see you awake. It’s been two days, and I was so worried—”
“Two days?” This is news to me.
“Yes. You lost so much blood.” She grabs my hand, squeezing tight. “I really laid into Seth for forcing you to work such long hours. This is his fault.”
“Selene.” My voice comes out sharp now. Reproachful. “You shouldn’t interfere.”
“Nonsense.” Her eyes flash with anger. “It’s because you were so exhausted that you were attacked. Anyone could see you were barely functional. He had no right—”
“He had every right. I violated protocol.”
“That doesn’t mean—” She stops herself, taking a breath. Then, her healer’s mask slides into place. “How are you feeling?”
“Not so good,” I admit.
She nods, already checking my bandages with practiced efficiency. “You’re going to rest for a few days. At least a week. Then, we’ll see about you going back to work.”
“A week—”
“Is the minimum,” she says firmly. “You nearly died, Daciana. Your body needs time to heal. And you need sleep. Real sleep. Not a couple of hours between shifts.”
I want to argue, but exhaustion is pulling me down like an undertow.
Selene places her hand over my injured shoulder, and I feel it immediately: the warm tingle of her healing magic spreading through my body. It’s different from the healing she performed when I first arrived here, which I’m starting to remember. This is gentler. Slower. The magic seeps into my muscles, easing the tension I’ve been carrying for days. Weeks.
My eyelids grow heavy.
“That’s it,” Selene murmurs, her magic still flowing, steady and calm. “Just let go.”
The warmth spreads through my chest, down my arms, into my legs. Every knot of anxiety, every thread of pain, slowly unraveling under her touch. My breathing deepens. Slows.
“Sleep,” she says softly. “Really sleep this time.”
I try to fight it, try to stay awake, but the magic is too strong. Too soothing. My eyes drift closed.
The last things I’m aware of are Kieran’s presence beside me, solid and steady, and Selene’s warm hand on my shoulder.
Then, darkness takes me, soft and dreamless. Finally, finally peaceful.
I WAKE SLOWLY THIS TIME, with no jolt of pain or confusion. Just a gentle rise into consciousness, my body heavy but not aching.
The ceiling above me isn’t white, though. I blink, focusing on my surroundings. My quarters. I’m in my own bed, in my own small room. The familiarity of it relieves the tightness in my chest.
Then, I notice the figure sitting beside my bed.
Kieran.
He’s in the same chair I sat in while he recovered, looking just as uncomfortable in it as I was. His eyes are on me, alert despite the exhaustion shading his face.
I pull myself into a sitting position, and I’m surprised when my body obeys without too much protest. I feel better. Weak, yes, but the bone-deep exhaustion that was crushing me before has eased.
“What are you doing here?” My voice comes out steadier than expected.
“Looking after you.”
“In my quarters?”
“Where else would I be?”
I open my mouth to argue, but my stomach chooses that moment to growl loudly. Heat floods my face.
A slight smile tugs at his lips. “I’ll have some food brought up.”
“I can—”
“You can sit there and let yourself be taken care of for once,” he says firmly, already standing. He moves to the door and speaks quietly to someone in the hallway.
I’m too hungry and thirsty to argue. My throat feels like sand, and the gnawing in my stomach is impossible to ignore.
He returns with a water skin and hands it to me. I drink greedily, not caring how desperate I must look.
“The injuries on your shoulder,” he says, settling back into the chair. “They had poison in them.”
I freeze, the water skin between my lips. “Poison?”
“Yes. I removed it.”
“You—” I stare at him. “How?”
“I have some skill in that area.” His expression darkens. “It was the same kind as last time. From the arrow that struck me.”
The same poison. My mind races, trying to make sense of it. “I don’t know why someone would want to poison me.”
“Neither do I.” His eyes hold mine, intense and serious. “But you need to be careful, Daciana. Whatever’s happening, someone wants you dead. And they’re not being subtle about it.”
A chill runs down my spine.
“Don’t go out alone,” he continues. “Not until we figure out who’s behind this.”
“I’m the Queen’s guard. I can’t just—”
“You can hardly sit up without shaking.” His voice is sharp. “You’re not invincible, little wolf. And whoever attacked you knew exactly what they were doing.”
The nickname causes a flutter in my chest, but I push it aside. “This doesn’t make sense. Why would someone target me?”
“That’s what we need to find out.” He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “But until we do, you stay safe. That means no patrols alone. No investigating on your own. No taking unnecessary risks.”
I want to argue. Want to tell him he doesn’t get to give me orders. But the memory of lying in that forest, bleeding out, stops me.
Someone tried to kill me.
And they might try again.