I had been sitting on the edge of the bed, bawling my eyes out. Why did it hurt so much?
I tried to open the walk-in closet but failed. He must have changed the code, he could do that through his phone. It might seem weird, but our closet required a password to get in when it was fully closed and locked. That was why we always left it ajar when we were home.
Why would he marry a maid like me? That thought made me tighten my hold on the bed.
I was not sure if his parents had gone or not, but I was not going to come out again to see them. I just couldn't face them, knowing the fact they were my parents-in-law. They were my family, unknowingly and James was my only family.
It hurts twice a time, it felt like being betrayed by my husband and my family.
The door handle of our bedroom moved, telling me that he was coming in. It had to be him, no one had ever gotten into this room other than him and now, me.
I could hear his footstep coming closer, but I kept my head down and stared at the ground until his feet came to view. Being so close yet felt so far. I had never taken off my wedding ring. But today, I kept on fidgeting and thinking about it. Had the day finally come for me to take it off?
"Baby." His soft tone was on edge. I could feel his touch and his hand touched my cheek. I immediately turned away, feeling disappointed.
"Can I go to visit Diane? She has not been feeling well and I want to go see her." I spoke but had not made eye contact with him yet. I couldn't bring myself to look at him and not feel worthy.
It was true, I had been meaning to visit her. She had called in sick for two days and I was worried about her. She was my only role model as a mother.
"We can visit her together." He grabbed my chin and pull my head up to look at him. Now he could see that I had been crying. I could see that he was feeling guilty, but he made no move to comfort me.
"I never ask you for much, I just want to go and see her alone," I said and he shook his head.
"I need to get my bag and change. Can you open the closet, James?" I asked. I never felt so helpless and tired. I never knew loving him could hurt like this and felt so unworthy.
He had shown me how loving he could be, but he never told me that loving him had consequences.
"How will you get there? Take Javier with you then," he told me.
"Okay," I nodded, agreeing with his term. The longer I looked at him, the more my fingers were itchy.
After he was assured, he walked to the door of our closet followed by me. After he put in the password, he moved aside to make room for me to walk in.
I could feel his eyes on me the whole time I was in the closet. I got changed into a summer dress and get my sling bag.
"Take this and buy her something she will need." James handed me his card. I looked at it but didn't make a move to accept it. It was not like I didn't have his cards with me already, I just didn't bring them all the time.
"It's okay, I can cover that myself. I'll tell her you to wish her to get well soon," I said, refusing to take his card. Before being his wife, I was his maid and got paid well to put them into my savings.
"Jamee. Take it." He kept on pressuring me to take his card. I was stubborn, so he slipped the card into my bag himself. "Can you be back before dinner?"
"I'll buy the dinner on the way home," I nodded. Bringing my right hand to touch his bottom lip, I smiled sadly at him. With my distraction, he was unaware of what I was doing with my left finger.
After I successfully take it off, I slipped it into his boxer's pocket, just like how he slipped his card into my bag.
"Hold on." He stopped me and get into the closet. Confused, I waited for him to return. A moment later, I felt something draped on my shoulders. It was a jacket. "Don't catch a cold."
I thanked him, then continued to walk out of the door. Why did he do all of this to me?
A lone tear made its way down to my cheek as I walked down the stairs.
"Ma'am, I was told that you need to go somewhere." Nicholas, the driver who had been working for James before greeted me by the front door.
"Nicholas, we were once a colleague. You should just call me by my name." I reminded him. It was kind of hard for me to accept that I was being ascended and being respected more than I was. Just because I married their boss, it suddenly made me at a higher level than then.
"I can't do that. You are Sir's wife now," he said, escorting me to the car which was on standby.
"That doesn't make you any less than I am," I told him.
"I never said that. I am just respecting you as my boss as well and besides, you never turned into a bossy wife." I chuckled upon hearing his response.
"So, where am I taking you?" He asked.
"To Diane's place," I replied as I hold on to the door of the car. Before I get in, I turned my head around and looked up to our balcony. There, he stood while looking down at me. I knew I could feel his eyes even from far away.
"Why was Mr. and Mrs. Nicoli came without first notice?" Nicholas asked. "There must be something important."
"Probably," I replied as I seated in the backseat of the car. It felt heavy to leave the house. It felt like I was leaving for good.