Chapter 1
TESSA POV
Soren, my husband, was busy saving his childhood sweetheart while I burned to death in my car.
The heat inside the car was unbearable. Flames crawled across the seats, swallowing everything around me. Smoke filled my lungs until every breath felt like fire, but somehow the pain in my chest was worse.
"Soren!"
I reached toward the shattered window, my fingers trembling as I called his name.
He was right there. I could see him through the flames. But he wasn't looking at me, he was running toward Maya, his childhood sweetheart, the woman he had always loved.
"Soren…"
My voice cracked. He didn't turn around. He pulled Maya away from the wreckage car and shielded her with his body, as though she were the only person in the world worth saving, and I watched him leave me behind. I wanted to believe he would come back. He didn't.
It was Soren who had tampered with the car. Soren who had caused the accident, who had wanted me dead so he could be with Maya without me standing between them. He hadn't known Maya and I would be going out together that day, if he had, perhaps he would have planned differently.
But none of that mattered now. I was dying, and the man I had loved for years had chosen another woman over me.
My fingers slipped from the broken window. The last thing I saw was Soren carrying Maya away from the burning car. Then everything went black.
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When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't surrounded by flames. There was no smoke choking my lungs, no burning pain, no shattered glass. Instead I heard familiar voices, smelled the flowers arranged around the hall and the faint scent of tea drifting from the tables.
For a moment I didn't understand. I slowly lifted my head, and the hall came into view, the same hall, the same people, the same day, then most importantly my master was in front of me smiling. My heart stopped. I was back. I was reborn back to the day of my master's fiftieth birthday, the day when my misfortune began.
My master stood at the center of the hall, smiling warmly at me.
"As you all know, I said my dear student will only get betrothed to one of my family members. Now is the time to fulfill that."
He looked toward me.
"Choose the person you would like to get engaged to among my two adopted sons, Tessa, dear." He walked closer and gently patted my head. "Tell me the one you want.”
His familiar kindness almost broke me. In my previous life I had been so happy standing here, believing this was the day my dream would finally come true. Now all I could remember was how that dream had ended.
My hands tightened against my dress. I remembered everything. In my previous life I had chosen Soren because I loved him, I had loved him since I was a child, ever since he saved me from the people who bullied me for my weight.
That one moment had been enough for me to build years of foolish hope around him. I had thought he was protecting me because he cared. I had thought I would eventually earn his love, that if I only loved him enough, he would one day love me back. I had been wrong. Very wrong.
I looked slowly around the hall. Only a few people had been invited, mostly my master's friends, respected elders, people with important positions in society, gathered to celebrate his fiftieth birthday. Their attention was all on me, waiting, expecting.
And then my eyes found him. Soren stood among the crowd, his expression tense, unlike everyone else in the room. His eyes met mine, and he subtly shook his head. Don't choose me. He was already warning me, the same way he had warned me before. I had ignored it once, too blinded by love, and chosen him anyway. He had rejected me in front of everyone.
"I don't want to be engaged to this fat and lowly girl," he'd said. "I love Maya and want only her."
My master had been furious, forcing him to take it back, but Soren had knelt outside the hall in stubborn refusal even as the rain came, and I had stood beside him and pleaded with my master to forgive him, worried he would catch cold, worried he would hate me, even after everything he'd said. He had only fainted at last and been carried inside.
That was the woman I had been. A woman willing to humiliate herself for a man who despised her. A woman who had mistaken obsession for love.
Never again.
"Are you shy because of these elders?" my master asked gently, mistaking my silence. "Don't worry. They won't laugh at you."
For a moment my heart softened. Master Silas was one of the few people in this world who had truly wanted the best for me. He had taken me in, taught me medicine, treated me like his own daughter.
Even when everyone else saw only an overweight orphan with nothing to offer, he had never made me feel worthless. I couldn't bear to disappoint him. But choosing Soren would not make him happy, not truly. I had already seen where that choice would lead.
"Why make her say it?" a girl my age said with a laugh. "We all know she's madly in love with Soren."
"Yes," another agreed. "She always follows him around."
The words were exactly the same as before. Back then I had accepted them proudly. This time they only made my stomach twist.
"Since everyone knows she loves him, why make her say it?" an elder said. "Just make it official. A shy little thing like her will never manage the words."
Several people chuckled. My master's smile faded slightly.
"Alright, then. She will be with Soren, since we all know she loves him." He cleared his throat to make it proper.
"No, Dad." Soren's voice cut through the hall. He stepped forward, his face cold. "I don't love her. I don't want to be with her."
"Shut up," Master Silas snapped.
But Soren didn't stop. "I don't want to be with this fat and ugly girl. Other than knowing a little about medicine, there's nothing good about her. I have someone I love."
His words should have hurt. Once, they would have destroyed me. But this time, I only stared at him. I had heard worse. I had felt worse. I had died because of him.
Maya. Of course. My eyes moved briefly toward her, shocked, just as she'd been before, pretending at innocence. But I knew the truth now. I knew what her tears would cost me.
"Everyone, from now on, Tessa and Soren are officially eng—"
"Master." My voice stopped him. The hall went silent, every eye turning toward me. My heart was pounding, but I forced myself to remain calm. This was my chance, not to beg Soren to love me, not to prove I was worthy of him, but to choose differently.
"It's true that I follow Soren everywhere. I adore and admire him." Soren's expression flickered. "But that isn't love."
Silence. My master's eyes widened; he knew better than anyone how deeply I had once loved Soren.
"There is someone else I love."
A murmur swept the hall. Even Soren looked uncertain for the first time.
"Who do you love?" Master Silas asked slowly. "Is it Ronan, his elder brother?" He gestured to the young man beside Soren, overshadowed so completely that most people had likely forgotten he was standing there at all.
"No." I lifted my chin. "The person I want to marry is none other than Malcolm, Soren's uncle."
I turned and pointed to where Malcolm stood at the very back of the hall, half in shadow.